This is a little different to what I usually post, however, I have been trying to branch out a bit and write more life-related posts as that is the kind of thing that I like to read. Those of you who know me will know that last year I came out of a 4-year relationship. I thought I would share some tips and advice for anyone going through a similar situation.
Just over a year ago I moved to Nottingham with my then-boyfriend. He was due to start a graduate job whereas I was going back to uni. To cut a long story short, we both realised that it wasn’t working and decided to call it quits. I have to admit, I did not handle it very well at all. I spent a lot of time crying and unsure of what my future would be. I then decided to move back to Norwich just before Christmas. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I may still feel unsure as to what to future holds, however, I am in a much better place mentally and I feel better about where my life is headed.
Surround yourself with people
The main thing that I did when I was newly single was surrounded myself with friends and family. Initially, this was to distract myself from being sad, however, I soon realised just how much I had neglected my friends and family. I would message my friends almost daily either for a chat or to hang out. Try not to isolate yourself. It may be tempting to sit at home with Netflix and ice cream – but that doesn’t really help you to feel better. Push yourself to be a bit more social – you never know who you may end up meeting.
It is so important that you keep talking about how you’re feeling. Whether this is with friends, family, or even just venting to your pet. Honestly, this helped me so much. I finally felt like I could breathe again. If you’d rather not talk to someone; you could always keep a diary instead.
Allow yourself to be sad
Feeling sad is a completely normal reaction to going through a breakup. Each situation is different and people have different ways of dealing with a breakup. You may feel a whole range of different emotions. I know that I felt a lot of anger, sadness, confusion, and even relief. Allow yourself to feel those emotions, but don’t let them consume you.
Do NOT stalk your ex on social media. You do not need to know how they are doing or what they are up to. If you have decided to remain friends and you don’t want to unfriend or unfollow your ex on social media, mute them. That way you won’t have to see all of their latest life updates – they will be none the wiser. This will help you move on so much quicker and it will take your mind off them.
Give yourself time
Everyone gets over a breakup at different rates. Depending on your personality and the relationship. It may take you a couple of weeks, or it may even take you months. Don’t lose hope – you will get there. Use this time of focus on yourself, do something you’ve always wanted to do, and use it as an excuse to try new things.
That’s all of the tips I can think of. I hope you have a fantastic week and happy first day of autumn!